One of the common problem, which most of the youth face is how to control their anger and frustration. Most of the people try different techniques also. one of the technique suggested here if they like they can implement in their life to handle the anger and frustration. Different people get anger and frustrated for various reasons and one of the main reason is their expectation. When they have some expectation and the result is not upto their expectation, then they get anger and frustration. It can be with people, work, circumanstances etc. Most of the people dont know how to handle the anger or frustration and show it on others mostly who don't retart back or who are weak comparatively. Now if we learn the art of handling the anger, then our life will be balanced and peaceful. It will be good for us and the environment around us and as well maintain good relations. People hardly prefer to stay and continue relations with people who are always angry, frustrated and irritating. People love to be with and interact and stay with or continue relations with smiling and happy people. Now the question arises, how to convert our frustration or anger and be a in a position to be preferred to stay with, which makes everyone happy a win-win situation.
When we are angry, there is a lot of energy generated within ourselves and if not properly handled it may cause more harm to ourselves and the people around us. The person who is raising with anger will forget themselves and will not have control on their words and thoughts and usually will go to a blame mode and speak ill of others on whom they are angry. They speak in such a harsh tone, that it may hurt others and sometimes break their hearts and relations. Until and unless the other person is bound to you for some reason, he will not stay with you or continue the relation with you. Given a chance , they will prefer to run away from you.
Now the technique, how to handle anger or frustration effectively. We need to learn to convert our high energy during anger into a positive energy useful.
Step1 When you are in your normal and peaceful mind, prepare a list of all the productive things which you can do. It can be anything as per your capacity and capability. It should be basically something which can help you, your family, your neighbourhood, your city, your state, your country, or the universe.
Step2 Whenever you get angry, immediately leave that place and pick one task from the list prepared and continue to complete that task. At the end of task, you will feel satisfaction, as you have completed a productive task, which has benefitted someone..
Step3: Now sit silently at a place and think back the whole situation, why did you get angry, what was the reason, what are the different ways in which you could handle it. Now if you feel that there was a mistake from your end, go back and say sorry, and if you feel that the mistake is from other person, go back and sit with that person and explain cooly both the problem and the solution. And dont go to the blame mode. That will make things worse, instead of making up. In case, you feel that you cant handle yourself, take the help of a third person, who knows both of you and a well wisher. But it is always best and preferable to sort out the things yourself. Now as you are in a cool and satisfied mood, you should be able to patch up things. There is nothing great than asking for sorry or forgiving a person for their mistake. Both make you a great person. That will elevate your personality, It takes great courage to do either of the things.
Now understand the whole process, where you are converting your energy into a positive and productive result. This will convert your regular anger, the result of which is guilt into a more channelised and productive way. Say, for example, you have a list of productive tasks as
1. I will plant a tree. (benefit for the universe)
2. I will feed a hungry being dog/birds/cow etc. (benefit to society)
3. I will clean the house. (benefit to the family).
4. I will clean the street. (benefit to the neighbourhood)
5. I will play drums / play flute/ play music etc (benefit to self).
6. I will do service at the temple (benefit to the community)
etc. The list can be extensive as per your capacity and capability.
Now when you are getting anger and leave that place and complete one of the productive task. First thing, you avoid a big harm to yourself, then avoid a harsh mood and avoid breaking a relation or hurting someone by your words Then when you complete a productive task, your mood will change, and you will have a satisfaction that you have contributed good to something. When you are back to normal and satisfied, you look the previous event with a new perspective and depending on the analysis, either ask for sorry or forgive that person by sitting with that person and communicating with them. This way, people will appreciate your personality and you will also love yourself. When you have respect and love for your self, the world around you will also love you and respect you. This is how we gain respect and love from others, where we become valuable.
Peace, happiness, love, harmony, laughter etc are all positive energies and are seeked by people intentionally or unitentionally. And people strive to acquire these. How they want to have these might be differing, but they want to have these is a reality. So, if one learns the art of having a balance in their life and have these positive energies, it will impact their personal lives and as well their sorroundings.
Hope by the grace of swamy, the person who is reading this able to understand and get better in their life, become valuable for themselves, their families, their neighbourhoods, their countries and to the universe.
Om Guruswamiye saranam ayyappa.
Om Swamiye saranam ayyappa.
